Collision Course
by Impervious Marr
Summary: Hichigo's point of view during Ichigo's slip into insanity as he goes from the hated Inner Hollow to the one keeping Ichigo from completely breaking apart. Oneshot, set in the 'These Melodies' universe.


**Collision Course**

by Impervious Marr

xoxox

Summary: Hichigo's point of view during Ichigo's slip into insanity as he goes from the hated Inner Hollow to the one keeping Ichigo from completely breaking apart. Oneshot, set in the 'These Melodies' universe.

Warnings: Swearing, etc. Eventual spiral into insanity o.o

A/N: I suggest you read These Melodies's first chapter or something. o.o It'll make more sense towards the end of this piece?

I wanted to write about Hichigo anyway :D He's a character I really like.

And... Lol, I was out of it when I wrote this. Probably not to usual standards, but eh man.

Read and review, thanks.

xoxox

The back of my eyes hurt.

There's a chill to the air...

And I don't know where I am.

I know that there was a lot of action going on in the background. Too much screaming that's making me having a fucking migraine. I knew that the King was moody when he woke up but the whole screaming business is just too much. Of course I was gonna tell him off, but something stopped me short.

"Let me out! Let me _out of here!_"

The clouds rolled and the sound of thunder threatened my dry state. I rolled my eyes upwards, glaring.

"You ain't gonna make me wet again are ya, King?"

He didn't rise to the bait. That's when I knew something was seriously long. How long have I been out? Of course, Inner Hollows aren't supposed to be knocked unconscious -

Unless, of course -

Unless...

"King?"

The voices were getting fainter. I could feel myself getting more exhausted. I couldn't help it - we're bounded by a soul; essentially whatever he went through I had to as well. He was getting tired and vice versa.

This was really, really bad.

"King, fucking hell, listen to -"

Let me out, let me out! Orihime, can you - can anybody - hear me?"

"Damn it, King!"

xoxox

They fucking locked us up in a room. It was way too white, and way too quiet that even I could hear myself breathing sometimes. Hollows don't fucking breathe - anatomically, it wasn't necessary.

I guess it's just a way to feel our human side again. After they separated me from King when they corroded the soul chain - well, I missed the feeling of being alive, in a sense. Maybe it was a simple habit, but it was comforting... Because being a part Hollow, part Shinigami - still retaining your other half - sometimes made the lesser one insanely jealous... Which in the case of a Vizard, was the Hollow part. Me.

I hated the fact that I can't really move around with my own free will.

I hated every single minute of being chained to this useless bastard, but as it was... He was King and I was the Horse. My time will come.

"You put us in this place," I said, and I couldn't help but mock, because I was angry at everyone and everything and the fucking rain that's flooding this place.

Ichigo didn't reply. If he wanted to be a brat at it, then fine.

"You're so fucking useless!"

xoxox

"So fucking useless."

"Shut up, Hollow."

He was on his knees, with his head in his hands. I couldn't help but force the sense of satisfaction to course through me - that's how us Inner Hollows have to behave.

"What're gonna do about it?" I mocked, grinning sadistically. "You're stuck here and nobody's gonna help you, not even your stupid friends -"

"Shut up."

"- and they probably see you as a lost cause, they're not gonna save your puny little ass."

"_Shut the fuck up!_"

The first time King screamed - snapped - was the first time when he could finally shut out everything about me into a nice little box in his head. The feeling that I couldn't feel what was going on outside, though I would never admit it - scared me shitless.

It scared me, Ichigo's Inner Hollow, shitless. I was fucking terrified when it first happened, and I almost regretted what I said to the kid, because I was screaming for any response. Any type of response.

It's like I was going blind without actually going blind.

But as it was, with flashes of everything being white with no other color coming from Ichigo's thought processes - I guess it can't be helped that I was a little bit grateful for the shut out.

In the end... Maybe we both needed the time to ourselves.

xoxox

I tried to block out the little blankness I could feel coming from my King - he was a usually expressive person, quick to think on his emotions so the sudden impassivity suddenly made it hard to breathe.

I was guessing it's from the white and the blank and the silence which was too loud.

Whatever those bastards were doing to Ichigo - they knew how to slowly crack him.

xoxox

The only thing I hated more than being the Horse was the King struggling not to go insane - and I could tell then and there. His voice still held that pride, that insufferable _him, _but - that strength that was slowly fading away. It was wavering.

"Hollow?"

_You're becoming weak, King!_

And I hated that.

_You're fucking unworthy!_

And I hated _that. _Seeing my King going to ruin.

A whole lot of things went through my head at the time, although those were the ones I could remember.

"What the hell do you want?"

Disappointment reached into my voice. I was angry that I felt part of it was my fault for getting both of us stuck here. The reason why I wasn't cracked yet, was because, most probably - I didn't have anyone to care about, or anything really, just my position in King's soul.

Ichigo was different. He was human, and he had loved ones. He had a family and he had friends. He had an obligation to fill, a sense to save people.

I didn't have all that.

And I fucking didn't like to feel grateful for it.

"At least you're still there..."

After that little sentence, with the wavery voice and the blankness - somehow I knew that we were gonna fucking crash and burn.

_xoxox_

The bastards placed books in Ichigo's room. Maybe I'm over reading the intentions, or what the fucking ever really - but somehow, it mocked Ichigo relentlessly that he could never catch anyone who entered his room. Like when he tried to stay up just to catch a glimpse of someone and anyone and everyone - but he always failed at the end, exhaustion taking over him.

I tried to help, but even I can't sense them entering and going away.

It was fucking annoying when I was the one who felt helpless and useless.

xoxox

"Is it still raining?"

Ichigo was cracking. He's trying to start up a conversation with me. I knew I didn't have the obligation to reply civilly, but I kind of pitied him. The lack of social contact must be hammering on his nerves.

Heck, the lack of fights was hammering on my own nerves.

I didn't like the feeling that washed over me when I heard his voice after such a long time. It felt good.

Like... Like he wasn't being beaten down to an inch of the man he was. Like it was all a bad dream... But I knew it was a harsh reality.

"Not really."

He was surprised when I answered. I was surprised that I answered too.

"... That's good." He paused, looking downwards. "Do you... Do you ever see anyone coming in?"

"No."

"Oh." He's probably thinking along the lines of something stupid like '_I'm not the only one then_'. Instead of pissing me off, I felt strangely content. Maybe a few months of nothing but stupid silence and all these feelings just beat the crap out of you. "Well..."

It trailed off into the silence. But the lack of sound wasn't _that_ unbearable anymore.

xoxox

We made small talk every once in a while. I said to myself that it's only because I didn't want Ichigo to fucking go insane, because it wasn't fair, and that was a blatant lie.

Both of us knew we needed the words. Ichigo was picking at his food this one time, his books to the side, forgotten for a moment, when he asked.

"How long have we been in here?" he asked quietly, before shoving the rice in his mouth.

I didn't know what to say.

"... A year or so."

"Really? I thought it's for a few years now..."

I really, really didn't know what to say.

He was losing his sense of time.

xoxox

_Maybe if I shut my eyes and ignored all of this - it'll be a bad dream._

"Let me out..."

_Just a bad dream._

_xoxox_

I didn't like his weaker moments, when he started babbling. I only beared with it because I couldn't go anywhere else.

"I miss Orihime - I think but... I can't... Not really. Not that much as I used to."

I paused in my tuning out, unable to resist listening.

"You're forgetting your friends?"

Ichigo was hurt and confused.

"I think so... Oh - oh god - no. Not them, I don't want to forget them." He closed his eyes and clutched his head, rocking himself. "Please, oh no, god. No."

He whispered some more words. I knew he was trying to recite them.

"There's - there's Orihime. And Rukia - and... And, Ishida, and Chad. Mizuiro and Tatsuki and Keigo. Renji... Um."

He started again.

"Orihime, Rukia, Ishida and Chad. Mizuiro, Tatsuki, and Kei -"

He scrunched up his face, before he started to panic, eyes going impossibly wide.

"And Kei -"

He scrabbled at his hands and his hair and pulled them and breathed eratically.

"And Kei... I can't - I can't -"

He cut himself off, before whimpering and shutting back everything out.

_I can't remember anymore I can't remember anymore I can't -_

_I'm so sorry._

_I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry..._

I just stopped and stared, and felt the burning hatred of those bastard who locked both of us up increase tenfold.

xoxox

"You're getting really pale."

We ignored the fact that it had to do with us not being able to enjoy the sun. He was losing his muscles, and one could only maintain so much when all you did was simple warm ups and runs around his room to keep fit. The heavy training he was used to was quickly becoming one of his forgotten memories.

He had a lithe build now, sinewy and thin. At least he never forgot to ate right.

Must be a habit ingrained to his mind.

Ichigo sat down and tried to reach for his toes. He was getting mighty flexible lately, too.

"Yeah, and soon enough I'mma be a carbon copy of you, albino."

"Eh, whatever, King."

"It's getting kinda boring calling you Hollow..." King said suddenly, and I couldn't help but pay attention to _that. _What the fucking shit?

"What the fucking shit?"

Ichigo ignored the profanity, shrugging. "I don't know. I might as well give you a name."

"All right, I repeat - what the fuck?"

Ichigo merely grinned, without feeling, but it was a grin anyway, and I settled down.

Fucking weirdo.

xoxox

He cried for his mother when we could hear the rain and thunder fall in the background. It was the first time I could hear his voice break in all of its fucking glory.

"Mommy - mommy, no, no, no."

Of course I knew the memories. Of course I knew what happened - I was a part of him, and it was inevitable but -

"Mommy..."

The saddest rain.

"M-Mom."

The fucking screaming and the heaving and the crying - and the pleading.

Fuck, the pleading.

It reminded me so much of the harsh reality we're living in, trapped in a white box because of a psychopath's whims; his amusement. I hated it. I hated it so much. I still can hear it ringing in my head.

_"Let me out.. Please, I can't - take it anymore."_

"I miss you so much..."

I didn't complain once about the rain this time.

xoxox

True to his word, he got me a name anyway. I never questioned him about the times when he broke down, and I could feel the immense relief when I did that.

Since when did I have a conscience, really?

"Hichigo," he said suddenly, out of nowhere and I thought he was talking to himself until I noticed the 'H' at the front.

"It's Ichigo, King," I replied, wondering if he lost his mind. He just shrugged.

"I really did mean Hichigo. I'mma stick with that."

"As a name?"

"Yeah."

I was half amused and half pissed. Amused because he actually did it, and pissed because of the lack of sarcasm in our talks.

He forgot even _that._

xoxox

So I made the life-changing decision. I'll still take over his place, one day, of course - but not now. Because he was fucking weak at the moment. Because he was King. Because he was a million things that he wasn't before, and still is now.

"Hey, King."

"Yeah?"

"Get stronger faster. I'm gonna take over when you do."

He kept quiet, but at least he didn't take it the wrong way - that I was pitying him. That was certainly not the case.

I tried to reason with myself that it's only because the victory would be greater at the end of the day, but I knew I was fucking lying.

_Just fucking lie, little Hollow._

_Just grin and bear with it._

"Okay, Hichigo... Okay."

xoxox

And the last but not least...

On that day.

That fucking day.

I talked about Ichigo's need for a haircut... And some other things. Then Ichigo went to sleep. Four times of sleep, now, I counted, because Ichigo couldn't track time anymore, and this is the only sense of time we had left.

The door opened and a woosh of fresh air dumped into the room. Ichigo was apprehensive, and overly wary.

He had a reason to.

When the man - that man - stepped into the room, all sense of sanity left me and it was replaced with an inhuman rage. I growled out loud, and I knew King wanted to ask why - did he really forget? - but I didn't respond.

_That fucking bastard._

_That __**fucking **__bastard._

"Kurosaki Ichigo," were his first words, and Ichigo immediately shrunk into himself, covering his ears. I knew why. It was way too loud. Way too noisy - make it stop. I could hear his thoughts.

_Go away. Go away. Go away. Stop talking, stop breathing, stop stop stop._

It didn't make me feel any better.I knew Ichigo wanted it to be a nightmare he couldn't fucking comprehend because he didn't want it to be reality. I knew Ichigo was asking the why and the what and the when, how, where_ - especially the who._

"You fucking stay away from him!" I screamed, bursting out a flash of energy - even though my counterpart was weak, I still had an immense reiatsu store. The man's eyes widened for a bit, but I knew Ichigo didn't notice.

He was too busy taking in all the new sensations at once.

"Ichigo, look at me."

"I said fucking stay away, you -"

Ichigo looked up, eyes emotionless, and I was cut off. It didn't matter. All I needed to do was to keep this psycho away from King.

_You made him into this way, you fucking bastard._

"Ichigo - talk, speak. You haven't lost your mind, have you?"

_How __**dare**__ you!_

But Ichigo didn't give away anything, except a piece of his thoughts.

_I might as well have..._

There, I lost control.

"It's Aizen, King - that bastard who put you in this place those years ago!" I screamed, and Ichigo's eyes snapped open, and he understood.

Crash and burn.

_Crash_ and fucking _burn._

_xoxox_

_End._

xoxox

xoxox

A/N: ;w; I sorry. Tis was boredom. And yeah, I wanted to write more swear words, admittedly. Hichigo was a good reason.

Have a nice day everyone! :D


End file.
